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We’ve all heard about the three wise monkeys of ancient folklore, sometimes called the three mystic apes but just how much did you know about this trio of bipeds? Let’s Speak Hear and See if we can’t find out where it all came from and what if anything is the meaning behind it all…
The 3 Wise Monkey’s Don’t Gamble. #JustSaying
More About The 3 Wise Monkeys
The three wise monkeys (Japanese: ä¸‰çŒ¿ Hepburn: san’en or sanzaru?, alternatively ä¸‰åŒ¹ã®çŒ¿ sanbiki no saru, literally “three monkeys”), sometimes called the three mystic apes, are a pictorial maxim. Together they embody the proverbial principle “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil”.
The three monkeys are:
Mizaru, covering his eyes, who sees no evil
Kikazaru, covering his ears, who hears no evil, and
Iwazaru, covering his mouth, who speaks no evil.
There are various meanings ascribed to the monkeys and the proverb including associations with being of good mind, speech and action. In the Western world the phrase is often used to refer to those who deal with impropriety by turning a blind eye.
Outside Japan the monkeys’ names are sometimes given as Mizaru, Mikazaru, and Mazaru, as the last two names were corrupted from the Japanese originals. The monkeys are Japanese macaques, a common species in Japan.
The True Origins of the Expression
Despite Wiki and other sources citing the origins as being Japanese, I have it on good authority that this is far from the case, and the truth it seems is far more strange than anything anyone could make up.
Sometimes there is a fourth monkey depicted, Shizaru, who symbolizes the principle of “do no evil”. He may be shown crossing his arms or covering his genitals. In another variation, a fourth monkey is depicted with a sulking posture and the caption “have no fun”.
According to Osho Rajneesh, the monkey symbolism originated in ancient Hindu tradition and Buddhist monks spread this symbolism across Asia. The original Hindu and Buddhist version contains 4 monkeys and the fourth monkey covers his genitals.The Buddhist version means this as “Don’t do anything evil”.
Modern take on this 4th monkey is less about the doing and more about the giving – specifically looking at the number of fucks being allocated.
The 4th Wise Monkey Actually Has Some Profoundly Helpful Advice
In Hindu original version the meaning of the fourth monkey is totally different from the popular Buddhist version. It means, “Hide your pleasures. Hide your enjoyment, don’t show it to anybody.”
Basically what they are saying is that if you win a jackpot at the casino then don’t tell anyone or show them because they will want some of it and then the taxman will claim some and then the government and some kid you didn’t even know you had will show up demanding a cut and before you know it you are worse off than when you started?!?! Hide your winnings is what they were trying to tell us.
The following images better portray the true origins and hint at the meaning behind the ancient Japanese proverb.
If you understand how pokies work then you know that they are designed to pay out at a certain (predetermined) rate – usually around 90c to the dollar. What this means is that pokies will, over time, average their wins and losses so that for every say $1000,000 put into the machine, $900,000 has been paid out and the machine has made a $100k profit for the pub/club owners. Over time the payout rates of individual pokies will rise and fall – averaging out at the 90% Return rate after many many years. This of course means that during that time the machine could go through periods where it consistently paid out higher than average returns (as it attempts to bring the average back to 90% after consistently not paying out for example)
Well the owners of a pub in Queensland claim to have just such a machine – in fact they reckon it’s the luckiest pokie machine ever!
Luckiest Pokie Machine or Another Tall Aussie Tale?
Beachmere Hotel have hailed it the luckiest pub in Queensland as the owners claim a string of wins ‘unprecedented of late’ surely puts their humble pub on top of the list
But is it the luckiest in the state?
Beachmere Hotel Keno & Pokie Wins
Beachmere Hotel director Robert Comiskey said it had earned the title of the luckiest pub in Queensland after a $2.09 million Keno jackpot win on November 18 €” the second worth more than $2 million in four years.
On the same day a different patron won almost $11,000 on poker machines, making it the eighth time someone had won more than $10,000 in the last two years.
There have also been a number of significant Keno jackpots over the past 12 months including a $155,616 nine-number jackpot.
According to the Queensland Government website there is up to a one in seven million chance of winning the top prize on a poker machine and one in 8,911,711 chance of getting the 10 number jackpot on Keno.
We are big advocates of gambling responsibly but with odds like this, if you were feeling lucky it would make a lot of sense to try out your luck,Mr Comiskey said.
Amazingly though, all these wins are not enough to secure the Moreton North region the title of luckiest region in Queensland when it comes to playing and winning on the pokies
And The Winner Is…
According to the Queensland Office of Liquor and Gaming Regulation, that honour goes to the Logan-Beaudesert region.
While Gold Coast topped the volume of money returned in metered wins in October this year with $28,816,132.34, it did so with 5991 machines operating. That places the Glitter Strip at fourth on the wins per pokie machine by region with $4809.90.
Logan Beaudesert topped the best returns by machine list with $6036.58, followed by Brisbane South with $5707.15.
And Where did Moreton North End up?
A tidy third with $4972.36 wins per machine (which would be even better at the Beachmere drinking hole).
OK, Just Don’t End Up Here:
And as for the regions to avoid, it is best to not try your luck in the Darling Downs-Maranoa area. The 1347 poker machines there sit bottom on total money returned ($3,263,773.34) and returns per machine ($2422.99)
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Is that 3 dynamite sticks I see? Scoring the feature on Aristocrat's Where's The Gold Pokies is why we play the game in the first place – it's the same for the thousands of pokie players around the world who rate this game so highly when listing their favourites, hardly surprising considering it’s awesome in every way. Every way but one – one big stinky noticeable way.
Choice Should Be an Integral Part of Life and Not Just a Feature
As much as I love getting the feature when playing Where's the Gold Pokies, there is an element of it that used to torment me to no end. So much so in fact that this mocking passenger would more often than not take the wheel and drive me to the brink only to leave me in a corner somewhere, curled up in the fetal position and laughing like a bona fide lunatic
I Choose… The WORST Character Possible!!?!
Seriously?!! It’s almost a gift – a gift that noone wants and is non returnable because my ability to pick the WORST character when playing Where’s the Gold Pokies is uncanny. But it’s the consistency with which I pick the losing character that drives me to the point where I’m having an in-depth conversation with 4 spatulas whilst fighting off a monkey who’s been trained in the art of SCUBA. Hectic
One Feature – Many Creatures
They say that too many cooks will spoil the broth and when it comes to picking the winning character during the where’s the gold pokies feature it seems the old adage applies…. that is it would apply if the cooks in question where game characters and the ‘broth’ that is destined to be spoilt was the resulting feature.
OK so in hindsight it seems the old adage doesn’t apply here.
Like at all.
oh well, different folks for different strokes… no wait! …. (oooh this is good. Wait for it)
‘Different Features for Different Creatures’
BOOM! Saved it – and saved it magnificently I might add 😉
Speaking of game characters, let’s meet the team at Where’s the Gold Feature HQ
Where’s The Gold Game Characters
There are 6 characters that make featured appearances during the Where’ the Gold Free Game mode – and since there are only enough slots for 5 characters you have to wonder whether Aristocrat like conflict, hate prospectors or it’s just an unhealthy combination of them both? I like to entertain the idea that the game makers at Aristocrat just can’t count. Maybe it’s just me but the thought of pokie game developers who can’t count is amusingly ironic.
You’ve informally met 5 of the guys above, but allow me to formally introduce them all to you, starting of course with the lady who was rudely left out of the above image meeting
‘Where’s The Gold?’ – Let’s Meet 6 Characters Who Desperately Want to Know
Stinky Pete … That Cheeky sod! Stinky Pete the prospector is a familiar face in the halls of Disney Pixar studios and has an open contract for Toy Story 5 through 28. He does not however feature during the Where’s the Gold Free Spins
Where’s The Gold Free Spin Features
Pictured left is the feature as it begins and yet another example showing how I pick the best (most winningest) game character for the free game feature. Keep reading to find out the key to picking the winner everytime – you’ll be surprised how obvious it is 😉
The free spins bonus feature is triggered when three or more scattered dynamite symbols land anywhere on the reels. Players will be awarded up to a maximum of 10 free spins with all wins in the free spins round tripled. In order to reveal the exact number of free spins you will be awarded you will be taken to a separate screen with five interesting and varied characters standing in a row.
At this point you need to choose between one of the 5 characters presented on the screen who will proceed to ‘pan for gold’ – where the ‘gold’ is the total number of free games awarded and the symbols that will substitute to wilds during the free games.
“Yes that’s wonderful and all – but how do we know which one of these characters is going to be the most generous when providing free games and substitute symbols?”
Would You Believe Me If I Told You?
If I told you what the secret to picking the winning character in Where’s The Gold was – would you even believe me? Amazingly when I shared this secret with my real world gambling friends they told me to stop talking out of my arse and proceeded to ignore all the advice I was trying to share with them!!?!?
I guess the expression “if it seems too good to be true it probably is” is advice we heed at our own detriment. 😉
Assuming you have no intention of doing anything to or at your own detriment – continue reading because I am about to disclose the one secret that reveals which game character is going to win the most during the Where’s the Gold Free Game Feature
The Secret To Picking The Winner Is…
The key to picking the winning character – or should I say to discovering which character is going to be the winningest lies in…
The Mine Shaft and how the light comes down the tunnel. There I said it – but allow me to expand on this secret a little more so that you can understand what clues to look for and how to translate them accordingly.
The Secret is Mine – But You Can Have it Too
When you first get the free spin feature on Where’s the Gold Pokies you have to make a decision between the 5 characters moving about in front of you. Behind these characters is a background that for all intents and purposes is a static image that provides no interaction or animation – at least that’s what they want you to think.
Look carefully at the beam of light that comes down the mine shaft and you’ll notice that whilst the direction and illumination remain the same, the shape the light beam makes on the mine floor has slight variances that mirror the shadow made by whomever the winning character happens to be in each case.
Look In The Shadows and See The Light
It’s hard to explain how this works and even the screenshots I have provided don’t portray the same clarity you get when actually viewing the game but bear with me and soon you’ll begin to get an idea of what I’m on about and more importantly – how you can apply this to your own gameplay and successfully pick the winning character next time you get the feature
The winning character in this case was Peter Panner and if you look closely at the shape of the light coming down the mine shaft you can see how it is circular in nature and the same rough diamater as Peter’s shadow.
The shadows for each character is unique for a reason, and the sooner you realise this the sooner you can use the information to your advantage.
I have attached a few more photos showing the results of the ‘gold panning’ and ask that you take some time to view them – no amount of explanation from me (other than what I have provided so far) will give you the knowledge that studying these images and testing the theory for yourself can provide.
Pick the Winning Character by Finding the Pattern
In this instance it is Nugget Ned who is our winningest character – and again the clues have been provided by Aristocrat and are evident within the shape of the light coming down the mine shaft.
Want Proof It Works? How About Video Evidence
Below I have screen recorded myself playing the Free Aristocrat Pokies in the Heart of Vegas and when I got the feature (took long enough sheesh!) I used the clues provided by Aristocrat to ascertain the winning character, picked it and went on to enjoy larger wins than I would have got had I picked a lesser character.
GO ME – but after reading this guide and learning the secrets for yourself it will soon be a case of GO YOU.
Want to Test my Theory?
Play Where’s The Gold Pokies Online now and see for yourself just how NOT full of crap I am. CLICK HERE to access Where’s the Gold and a host of other award winning games from Aristocrat, Microgaming, and iGT to name but a few.
Ka-Ching! Pokie Nation first exposed us to how truly insidious pokies really are – opening our eyes to the extent of corruption that keeps these addiction machines in circulation whilst actively growing their numbers and the number of regular players.
These players are the future addicts and contributors to the almost $5 billion a year that the Australian Government makes from Gambling tax and related revenue.
And as the stats continue to break new records and put Australia on top of the biggest losers pile the evidence for a need for gambling reform grows exponentially. In fact this article posted yesterday on RSLPokies.com reveals how Australia have smashed all previous records, losing a record $23 billion in the last financial year – check out the article HERE
Australians Lose More Per Capita Than Any Other Nation
Australians lost more than $1200 each through gambling last year, according to fresh figures. We know that behind the averages, many of those who lose the most can least afford it. These are shocking numbers, laying bare the extent of social harm done by gambling.
The data from Australian Gambling Statistics reveals Australian punters lost almost $23 billion last year, $5.8 billion in Victoria. While there has been an explosion in sports betting, up 30 per cent, by far the biggest cause of gambling losses is poker machines, which alone are responsible for $11.6 billion down the drain. This, as public health expert Dr Charles Livingstone says, is the “600-pound gorilla of Australian gambling”.
But It’s The Pokies We Need To Be Wary Of
More than 75 per cent of those directly experiencing harm from gambling use poker machines. It is in this sector that gaming reform advocates such as Tim Costello, Senator Nick Xenophon and MP Andrew Wilkie have long called for reforms including $1 maximum bets and mandatory pre-commitment on poker machines. Banning the practice of credit betting – gambling with money that you don’t even have – has recently been added to this list.
OnlinePokies.com.au supports these reforms and urges the federal and Victorian governments to enact them, showing a genuine commitment to reducing the harm caused by problem gambling. Just as the amounts of money lost to gambling have grown rapidly in recent years, so too has our understanding of this behaviour. We know now that many who gamble are addicts and that gambling irresponsibly has a drastic impact on not just the punter, but also the wider community, in particular their families and friends.
Sports betting has rapidly drawn a younger cohort to gambling. Anyone with a smart phone can bet anywhere, any time, and the many different ways to bet on sporting fixtures is dizzying. All of this is also aggressively marketed. Calls for reforms are not wowserism or the thin edge of the wedge towards banning gambling outright. It has been well established that prohibition is an ineffective way to minimise harm in the case of addiction. Regulation and education are far better ways to reduce the damage to the individual and the community, as the internationally recognised success of this nation’s long-standing policy to reduce tobacco smoking demonstrates.
It is fair for critics such as Xenophon and Costello to argue governments have failed on gambling reform. While governments continue to benefit so directly from pokies, they leave themselves open to charges that self-interest is behind their lack of will to act. The politics of pokies is as insidious as the machines themselves.
The Government are actually the biggest pokie addicts of them all – and THAT is a problem
Governments are metaphorically addicted to money from gambling. In Victoria, for example, about $2.5 billion a year is lost to electronic gaming machines, of which $1 billion goes to the government – representing close to 10 per cent of the entire tax take.
There is a desperate need to combat this problem. Xenophon is committed to reintroducing his proposed gaming legislation, which will include limiting advertising and banning credit betting. Human Services Minister Alan Tudge has also promised to introduce legislation, and we urge the government to commit to genuine reforms.
The financial losses and social harm caused by problem gambling are undeniable – and are fuelled by addiction, not healthy social behaviour.
What Can You Do?
If you want to make a difference and have your voice heard then the best thing you can do is join the Alliance for Gambling Reform and add your signature to the growing list of Australians who have had enough and want to see positive chance for the first time in our illustrious pokie history
Follow the link and/or image below to add your name to the growing list and tell the government once and for all that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
Woolworths have already established themselves as the Pokie People and one of the most destructive forces ever to impact this great southern land of ours. In fact we were recently saddened to read that Woolworths and their co-owned ALH Group were actively targeting children and families in the pubs and clubs – so this latest news is actually not surprising at all. Woolworths have well and truly let their feelings be known and I for one would like to be the first to ask them to kindly GO AND FUCK THEMSELVES SLOWLY IN THE ARSE WITH A STOP SIGN (top first)
It’s Fly Buys for Pokie Addicts and Gamblers in General
Anti-poker machine campaigners have slammed supermarket giant Woolworths for introducing a frequent gambling rewards card for poker machines in its string of pokie pubs.
What is it exactly?
The card, designed by poker machine manufacturer Bally Technologies, allows marketing messages to be flashed up on the gambler’s machine as they play, meaning they can order drinks from the machine without interrupting play.
Anti-pokies campaigner Paul Bendat agreed the card is “essentially a Fly Buys for gambling”. “You sign up for a card, you give them a bunch of your personal details and every time you gamble on one of their poker machines, you insert the card,” Mr Bendat said.
“[Voluntary pre-commitment] is the cornerstone of the harm-minimisation policy of the current Victorian Government, ALP, and the past Coalition. And [This card] is entirely counterproductive. There is no morality in it.”
Woolworths’ move is in direct response to government calls for harm minimisation measures to prevent problem gambling. In December, the ALH Group, which is 96 per cent owned by Woolworths, will roll out the Monty’s Reward card in Victoria and Queensland as its “voluntary pre-commitment” measure, after it was piloted in New South Wales. Independent senator Nick Xenophon branded Woolworths’ decision as cynical.
“What was meant to be a harm minimisation measure has been turned by Woolworths into a harm-exacerbation measure by using this card,” he said. “This isn’t so much a loyalty card as an addiction card.”
…an addiction card they can now renew online in four easy steps I might add!
Voluntary Pre-Commitment SCHERMITMANT!
Buried at the end of the card’s brochure is a paragraph on voluntary pre-commitment – which means the gambler has the option to limit their spending – however, the pre-commitment only lasts for 24 hours. (SEE BELOW for copy of Monty's Rewards Ts&Cs)
Voluntary Pre-Commitment 12.1 For Members utilising Monty's Rewards at Participating Venues other than in Victoria: 12.1.1 Members may utilise Voluntary Pre-Commitment in conjunction with their Monty's Card. Procedures for doing so are set out in the brochure accompanying the Monty's Rewards application form and as varied and/or replaced from time to time by ALH as detailed on the Website. 12.1.2 If utilised, the Voluntary Pre-Commitment will allow a Member to set a limit on: (a) the amount of time, in a 24 hour period determined by ALH, that the Member may play Games using their Monty's Card; and/or (b) the Member's net loss, in a 24 hour period determined by ALH, on Games played using their Monty's Card. 12.1.3 If a limit referred to in clause 12.1.2 above is reached, the Member will receive an electronic notification superimposed on the screen of the machine upon which the Game is then being played. At that time, although the Member may continue playing Games, the Member will cease to earn Monty's Points as a result of any further Games played before the commencement of trading at a Participating Venue on the next trading day. 12.1.4 If a Member has set a limit referred to in clause 12.1.2 above, any new limit set by the Member that increases the amount of time or net loss, will not take effect until commencement of trading at a Participating Venue on the next trading day.
WoolWorths Are Commited To The Responsible Service of Gaming… MY ARSE!
Let’s open this can of bullshit and expose Woolworths Limited for the lying bunch of fuckwits that they are – because what Woolies deem to be ‘effective measures to minimise gambling harm’ is quite simply not.
Time to Open a Can!
You comfortable? Because I have a feeling this is going to be a long and revealing look into the depressing disconnect between what the ALH Group SHOULD be doing and what the ALH Group ARE doing.
I have taken the liberty of supplying the ALH Group Responsible Service of Gaming requirements and commitments are – please see below where I will summarise each point and then highlight why it’s a PILE OF BULLSHIT
Comprehensive training including full day annual training for management and key staff at all hotels – mandated.
Report Findings However Indicated Quite the Opposite:
No ALH Staff that we spoke to had ever received any formal training on how to recognize the signs of pokie addiction and/or what steps they should take to reduce the harm and provide the support needed.
NSW Department of Liquor and Gaming –
Responsible Conduct of Gambling
Gaming machines are allowed in registered clubs and hotels. Licensees and venue staff have responsibilities when operating gaming machines.
Responsible Conduct of Gambling (RCG) helps to ensure compliance with the law, reduce gambling related issues and to promote safety (harm minimisation) in venues where there are gaming machines.
Why do you need RCG training?
RCG training is mandatory if your work duties involve gaming machines. This includes, but is not limited to:
licensees of a full hotel licence
secretaries of a registered club
staff with gaming machine duties
staff who pay out winnings
staff who patrol or serve in the gaming machine area
Whether you are a staff member or an employer, you may be fined if you work without a valid competency card, or allow employees to work without one. Find out more about fines.
RCG training course
The RCG training course helps to promote safety in venues where gaming machines are operated.
So You Need an Active Competency cards
A competency card is similar to a driver’s licence or proof of age card, and has a record of training you’ve undertaken to be legally allowed to work in the liquor and gaming industries. The courses recorded on it are:
A competency card is proof you’ve completed training in one or all of these courses.
Please Explain Woolworths Limited!?
This completely contradicts what the ALH Group themselves claim within their Responsible Service of Gaming –
A key focus is our e-learning module providing staff the skills to approach and interact with customers who may be indicating signs of problems with their gambling, and how our self-exclusion program operates.
We partner with agencies such as Gamblers' Help in each state. We want ALH Group staff to learn from these agencies how best to promote the message of responsible gambling. We have established partnerships with The Salvation Army, gambling research experts and mental health organisations. This recognises that problem gambling is a complex issue and requires a multi-level approach.
And Yet We Found The Complete Opposite
Every staff member knew what intoxication looked like and were strict in their adherence to the guidelines of the RSA charter that requires that person or person to be ejected from the premises.
If a gambler spends too much and cannot control their addiction they are not only encouraged back into the ALH owned venue through rewards and membership incentives, they are also forced to eject themselves from the premises' – and even that is something that has to be done through a process that takes a day or two to come into effect and worse still, is only valid for 24 hours anyway?!
Woolworths Give The Ultimate FUCK YOU With their Gaming Charter
Hotel and Gaming Charter. Rigorous internal and external audits.
Introduced in 2010 and updated in 2012 the Hotel and Gaming Charter outlines the companies mission statement and goals in relation to the responsible service of alcohol and gaming. The 11 statements' or promises (hollow words to allow the government to tick the responsible gambling box basically)
We will list and then proceed to tear these 11 promises apart and put the Pauline on Woolies – Please Explain indeed.
Gaming rooms are being screened or separated from other areas of the hotel at all ALH venues.
No, no they are not – see report
Partnerships with expert groups, including Gambler's Help in each state, and the Salvation Army.
David Schwarz – Responsible Gambling Ambassador For the last five years, the ALH Group has worked with David Schwarz, a well-known former professional AFL footballer and reformed problem gambler, as its Responsible Gambling Ambassador. David provides employee education and customer awareness about the importance of asking for help if your gambling becomes a problem. David is available for our staff to discuss any gambling problems they or their families and friends may be experiencing.
This hotel offers a self-exclusion program – 1800858858
Woolworths really are the Pokie People!
The 11 Promises – and We’ll Tear These Ones a New One Shortly Too
1 We provide a safe, friendly environment in which all hotel customers can socialise and enjoy themselves in a good atmosphere.
2 We provide good value, good quality meals and family friendly dining experiences.
3 We believe we have a shared responsibility, along with individuals, families, communities and governments, to ensure responsible behaviour.
4 We do not conduct promotions which encourage irresponsible drinking.
5 We restrict gaming room access to adults and ensure gaming rooms are screened or separated from other areas of the hotel, so as to not to attract children.
6 We were the first national hotel operator to support voluntary pre-commitment – a system that helps players stick to their limit by nominating maximum spending or time limits on gaming machines. This system will be implemented at all ALH Hotels by 2014.
7 We train our staff to be aware of behaviour that may indicate gambling problems and to provide appropriate patron support. We require all ALH hotel managers to complete additional advanced responsible gaming training.
8 We partner with expert groups and specialists who can help staff and patrons deal with problem gambling, including Gambler's Help (Australia's leading professional counselling service) and the Salvation Army.
9 We ensure that ATM machines, where approved, are provided for the convenience of all patrons in a safe, central location and not in gaming areas.
10 We support local communities in numerous ways, including working with charities to raise money through our hotels.
11 We conduct internal and external audits to ensure we deliver on our commitment to be Australia's most responsible operator of hotels.
No I'm not super excited at the prospect of writing you this guide and sharing my tips on how (and why) I have so much success playing Where's the Gold – the pokie from Aristocrat Gaming, although I must admit I'm kinda looking forward to it a bit – anything that gives money back to the punters and takes it from the pockets of Aristocrat, iGT and Bally's (to name but a few of the big slot machine manufacturers) is a good thing in my book and therefore yes I suppose I am looking forward to writing this – maybe I just wanted to use the word prospect in a sentence – that's probably it 😉
But Yee Haw indeed because today I'm talking about my favourite pokie – the one and only Where's the Gold, the slot machine from Aristocrat Leisure with a feature that gives you a choice – and provides you the opportunity to kick yourself for choosing the WRONG BLOODY CHARACTER again!
The problem is I’m not actually sure where this key is and so far my attempts to figure out how to pick the correct character have proven both fruitless and irritating.
Where's The Gold? – The Other Prospector Nearly Took The Lot!
In breaking news – the Prospector from Toy Story 2, otherwise known as Stinky Pete has tried to infiltrate the inner sanctums of Aristocrat gaming. Pretending to be the original Where's the Gold Prospector he Yee Hawed' his way past security and was almost at the Gold (the location of which is kept a closely guarded secret by Aristocrat) before his inability to bend at the elbows gave him away.
Sources inside Aristocrat say that he was relatively calm when being escorted out of the building and are now in the process of moving the gold to yet another top secret location for fears that the news of Stinky Pete's break in will spread and may be the catalyst needed to encourage some of the worst criminal masterminds from the past to come out of retirement. There's even whispers in the back alleys of Las Vegas that the Hamburglar and stand over man Grimace have joined forces again and are planning something MacNasty.
Watch this space! … or click that image below and play some where’s the gold – or at least the algternatives that allow you to choose between free and real money pokies – or you can check out Heart of Vegas Slots – the free app that allows you to play your Favourite Aristocrat pokies through Facebook and your mobile or laptop. Check out our Heart of Vegas Review and then get the secrets to Unlimited Free Coins
For those of you who haven’t yet heard about Heart of Vegas Slots – the social casino/Facebook App that so far provides over 10 million active players with access to over 60 amazing titles from Aristocrat Leisure, the makers of Australia’s favourite pokies …. then ummm, yeah. How’s life under your rock?
Seriously though, if you enjoy even an occasional punt on the pokies then you will be well versed with Aristocrat Gaming and the plethora of award winning pokie games they produce. (Learn more about Aristocrat and what Len Ainsworth attributes their success to at this link here) Furthermore, you’ll probably have a few favourites of your own – and I’ll bet one of them is either 5 Dragons, Big Red or Queen of the Nile 😉
Unless you’re a bit slow on the uptake (or you genuinely do live under a rock and it’s taking a while to roll the damn boulder back into place) you will have put two and two together and realised that with Heart of Vegas Slots App you can play Aristocrat Pokies Totally Free – but like most of the free things in life there’s a catch… or in this case a credit basket with a hole in it…
Welcome to Heart of Vegas Slots – Have Some Free Coins
When you first log in to Heart of Vegas it generally requires that you connect via your Facebook account – a completely normal and acceptable process in this social gaming and interconnected world we live in – and as part of this connect you are given 2 million Free coins – or HoV Credits as I like to call them (they are not coins or real money after all) and if you are like myself or any of the other millions of players out there you will excitedly spend the lot of your 2 million free credits within an hour or so – leaving you staring at your iPad and wondering why on earth the bets are as high as $1,000,000 a press?!?! – no really?! – check out our Heart of Vegas Slots Review where we rant a bit about this (among many other things LOL) – because trust me, you’ll be so stoked with the fact you can finally play your favourite Aristocrat Pokies from the comfort of your home or the bus home from work that you’ll spend the lot before you realise you were even getting low in the first place. And then you’ll be like …. well like Chris Rock below 😀
Luckily though the free coins and daily credits just keep on coming…. slightly anyway.
Welcome Back to Heart of Vegas – Have Some More Free Coins
Not only do you get to enjoy 2 million free coins from Heart of Vegas to play the many awesome titles from Aristocrat Pokies, the daily wheel provides you the chance to spin up to 250,000 Hov Credits – and this is on top of up to 60,000 extra credits just for having friends and coming back repeatedly! It seems the guys at Aristocrat and Heart of Vegas are looking after the free social casino crowd… at least that’s the impression they want you to get.
The True Value of Heart of Vegas Coins
The key to any good magic trick is misdirection. Create your illusion and then remember to keep your audience focused on that which is not important and you can get away with murder – well sort of anyway. And this is exactly what Aristocrat have done with the Heart Of Vegas Slots app – created the illusion of wealth while using free coins and daily bonus wheels to keep us distracted from the fact that the value of the ‘credits’ we deal with in this virtual social casino world are arbitrary at best.
While we’ve all been living in the same world (generally speaking) and applying the same values to things, the people over in the social casino world are dramatically shifting what that implied value is – and in so doing are creating a false sense of hope and a detachment from reality that can actually reinforce real money gambling in many players. Wait what?!?
Yeah WTF Dude?! – OK seems I have spent too long looking at stats, facts and figures because my world has been reduced to mere proportionate numbers, relative metrics and other confusing shit I haven’t thought about since high school!
Basically the problem (as we alluded to in our initial rant and the official Heart of Vegas Slots Review <– Follow that link people) is that the amount you gamble for each press of the button is … well it’s ridiculous quite frankly.
Would you ever bet $2500 for every press of the pokie if you were playing for real cash? Hell no, and no-one in their right mind would either. Well that staggeringly huge amount of money is the LEAST AMOUNT YOU CAN BET – with the highest amounts in the Hi-Roller room being in excess of $50,000,000 a press – yes you read that right, that’s FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS!
*Imagine how many sharks with freaking laser beams attached to their heads that would buy!
50 Million dollars?!?! Well shit, we’d better figure out a way to get more than a 1 or 200,000 free HoV credits each day then hadn’t we!
How To Get Millions of Free Coins Every Day!
The key to accessing over $5 million Heart of Vegas free coins each and every day is friendship.
Be a good friend and love thy neighbour and.… fuck that, take your Kumbaya loving hippy crap and stick it in a pipe and smoke it – or whatever it is you do.
Friendship is important in life, and now that we’ve got Heart of Vegas Slots on Facebook, friendship is more important than ever – because for every friend you have that plays HoV you can get 50,000 free coins (assuming they are good gifters*)
From Little Thing, Big Things Grow
Some prefer to use the power of the sun combined with a chemical reaction (in this case photosynthesis) to grow. There are also some that choose steroids or enhanced drugs to increase or ‘aid’ their growth – and others still who use others to build themselves up (to their detriment and otherwise). But today we’re focusing on those of us who like to grow …their Heart of Vegas Balance!
$50,000 Heart of Vegas Coins is nothing – in fact it’s two presses of Big Red or Queen of the Nile – at a minimum! but as the many expressions go – it all adds up, every little bit counts and as many need reminding, You can’t make friends with salad. Remember this and you’ll see it play out each and every day as your Heart of Vegas Free Coins come flooding in to provide you a healthy Balance that is constantly getting topped up – assuming you’ve used Facebook to make friends and not salad.
Seriously though…. Friends do this for you… EVERY DAY
Later that same day…
And the next day…
And the next day… or maybe this was later on the same day? – meh – too many Heart of Vegas Free Coins to keep up. #Firstworldproblems much 😀
Facebook Friends. How Many HoV You Got?
Let’s all take a moment to appreciate how freaking awesome that Pun of mine is….. and of course the rhetorical question contained within…..
And now allow me to answer that rhetorical question…… (what? – don’t even go there, seriously it’s been a long day OK)
How To Get Heart of Vegas Friends Who Gift
The key to maximising the amount of free coins you get each and every day is in finding friends on Facebook who are not only active HOV Players but also who actually use the ‘gift’ function to share the $50,000 Free Coins that each ‘gift’ generates.
Facebook Groups are the key to maximising your HoV Friends list and keeping it full of regular gifters and other players who genuinely love the game for the game sake and gift because they like getting the free coins in return. In fact I’d recommend these groups to anyone who just wants to play the game without any political BS or idiotic trolls making life irritating – which seems to be the norm for most hobbies and online activities these days.
To find Heart of Vegas Gifters you only need use the search function in Facebook – and I’d recommend running a search query for both ‘Heart of Vegas’ and ‘HoV’ as you wil find many groups under both terms. Then simply request to join and when y ou do make sure you actively add people as friends.
Here is an example of a good (and highly active) Group designed specifically for HoV players to grow their ‘friends who play HoV and Gift’ list –> HOV Daily Gifter Group – Add For Friends (no really, that is the name of the group)
I would recommend creating a new friends list in Facebook and keeping your HoV activity seperate to your regular feed – unless you want to tell your friends and family you play Heart of Vegas… over and over and over and over again?*
*Only funny when the game you are playing is Groundhog day or something 😉
How I generate $5 – $10 Million in Heart of Vegas Free Coins Every Day
Your Gift inbox will hold up to 100 Gifts – which if you’ve done the maths (and I know you have, you’re a pokie player after all) equates to $5000,000 in Heart of Vegas Free Coins.
*Do this twice a day and generate $10,000,000 in Heart of Vegas Free Coins every single day – oh and that’s not even counting the hourly 10,000 you collect or the daily allegiance bonuses and other random free coin gifts that HoV Slots occasionally does.
Then I usually make this face…
Whether you are playing for fun or stress relief, to simply kill time or you are doing it for Sparta – the fact remains :
And even though I know I should save the free coins or at least start with smaller bet increments so as to make the enjoyment of playing the free pokies last, Ain’t NOBODY got time for that!
Besides, I’ll just get another 10 million free coins tomorrow. BOOM
Heart of Vegas Slots – My Big Wins and Memorable Moments
Morning my fellow HoV players – thought I’d do something a little different from the typical reviews and write ups that so many players provide about Heart of Vegas and share the more fun side of this free social casino app – the big wins and awesome features I have got whilst playing the game. Keep in mind these are proportionate to the fact I can never afford to bet more than 50k a hit LOL
I ENCOURAGE YOU TO SHARE YOUR BIG WINS AND JACKPOTS – keep in mind these are proportionate to the fact I can never afford to bet more than 50k a hit LOL
So without further ado, please enjoy my biggest wins and most memorable moments whilst playing the free social casino app Heart of Vegas Slots. – Oh and for those who have no idea what I am talking about – fill yourself in on everything by first reading about Aristocrat and Heart of Vegas Slots and then get the low-down on what it is really like to play over at PlayPokies.com.au – Australia’s home for Aristocrat Pokies online.
And now allow me to share with you some of my favourite moments and biggest wins from playing Heart of Vegas Slots
My Biggest Heart of Vegas Slots Wins
First image shows a $6million+ win FROM ONLY $12K BET – did this when I got the entire screen filled with WILD coins during the feature – amazing stuff!
Second image shows another awesome win – this time on 5 Dragons – and shortly after the last win – credits at this point were at an all time high of 13million+
Third image is just cool – 5 Dynamite feature symbols at once for a healthy win – but not that healthy cause I ALWAYS CHOOSE THE WORST CHARACTER LOL
*Learn How to pick the right character every time with our Where’s The Gold Pokie Guide
Fourth and final image shows my first ever Progressive Jackpot – shortly after this I got 5 Aces 6 times over and the final symbol was a progressive so I actually won the minor $600k jackpot 6 times over!
Feel free to share your own big pokie wins and Heart of Vegas awesome moments
Not-For-Profit Community Clubs?! You Mean Not-For-Community Profit Clubs!
Full story and original source article can be found at the Gladestone Observer or by following THIS LINK HERE
Since the start of the year the desperate, drunk and happy-go-lucky pokie punters in Gladstone have fed slightly more than $9.5 million dollars into 659 approved gaming machines at 25 venues around the region.
But, in what some are calling a consolation prize – we here at OnlinePokies.com.au are calling it a kick in the teeth and the ultimate insult to the people of Gladstone – given the millions of dollars pokie machines take out of the community, six not-for-profit community organisations in Gladstone have joined in a share of more than $150,000 as part of the latest round of the Gambling Community Benefit Fund grants.
Ooooh how nice of your apparent Community Clubs to invest some money back into the community. NOT!! But before you start feeling a sense of compassion for the community clubs in Gladstone let’s take a look at how things have been looking over the last few years – because surely figure like this don’t just appear overnight. It usually takes a controlled effort to increase pokie addiction and gambling costs that dramatically.
As a means of returning money received from taxes on gaming revenue, each year the Queensland Government reinvests a portion of this money into community organisations – at least this is what is supposed to happen.
The issue isnt how much these Not-For-Profit clubs are investing but where they are investing it. According to the Interactive Gambling Act 2001, at least 8% of pokie revenue (tax) received by the clubs must be inveested into the community to combat problem gambling and go towards harm minimisation…. Well at last check, the clubs of Victoria (for example) had given 0.1% of their pokie profits towards problem gambling and harm minimisation – the rest they spent on bigger venues and sporting fields to grow their own club and in turn encourage more gamblers to play their pokies.
Amazingly, the Victorian Gaming Commission approves this year in and year out – it seems the VCGLR are the ones with the biggest pokie addiction – Learn more about the extent of the corruption in Victoria HERE
evidence of how little the clubs help their community
Gladstone Community Recipients
This round the lucky recipients included Boyne Island Tannum Sands Saints Aussie rules club ($30,000); Boyne Valley Canoe Association ($35,000); Canoe Point Outriggers ($32,000); Endeavour Foundation Gladstone in-home support ($1400); Gladstone Aussie rules club ($21,000); and, Gladstone Clay Target Club ($34,000).
The grant money will go towards constructing sheds, grandstands and purchasing equipment.
BITS Saints president Andrew McMahon said the money his club received will go towards putting in a new grandstand which he hopes will go a long way in helping the club secure the opportunity to host a grand final.
“Over the years we’ve built up a bit of war chest and we’ve been pretty smart with our money…and part of that is to keep knocking on doors,” Mr McMahon said.
“What we’re trying to do is provide seating and shade for our cricketing and footy families.
“It’s about being a bit more sun smart but we’re all volunteers here and everybody will be welcome to use the facilities,” he said.
President of Canoe Point Outriggers Scott Lowry said he would use his grant money to build a brand new shed for all of the clubs gear.
At the moment the club uses a garden shed with a few poles attached to hang the canoes off.
Although Mr Lowry has never had anything stolen from his garden shed, he said it would be nice to have somewhere much more secure to house his expensive gear.
“Not much has changed in 15 years€¦and everything is old,” he said. “It’ll be awesome because I had a look earlier and thought we missed out on the funding so when Glenn Butcher called it was pretty surprising.”
The member for Gladstone Glenn Butcher said it was fantastic to be able to offer grants to local clubs.
“No matter what happens people play the pokies, and you can call it tainted, but if we can give some of that money back then we are more than happy to do that,” he said. “Saving up $34,000 selling chook raffles isn’t easy so this goes a long way to spending money where they really need it. – Funding like this helps keep community groups afloat and strengthens the commitment of volunteers who run these groups,” he said.
Is this the real face of clubsNSW and the other state owned Community clubs?
A recent study conducted by the Herald Sun and subsequent article on RSLPokies.com revealed that since the pokies were introduced to Victoria in 1992, over $50 billion has been poured into them. That is an average of $2 billion Australian dollars being put into the pokies across Victoria every year for the last quarter of a century!
Monash Residents Doing Their Part
With pokie spend averaging around $2billion a year across the state of Victoria it is good to know the people of Monash are doing their part and contributing to keep that frightening average as high as it is – with recent figures from the Victoria Commission for Gambling and Liquor Regulation (VCGLR) revealing that:
Poker machine players in Monash have lost $111.4million in in the first 6 months of 2016 – with losses averaging $9.3million each and every month
That makes Monash the sixth largest loser on poker machines of all local government areas in the state according to the Victorian Commission for Gambling and Liquor Regulation(VCGLR) although as we’ll discuss shortly, this ‘commission’ charged with policing the licensing and distribution of electronic gaming machines in Victoria seems to run on a culture of corruption and pokie greed. But first, let’s take a closer look at the town of Monash and where the money was lost.
Where The Money Went – Pokie Losses in Monash
Monash is home to 997 poker machines across 15 venues with punters losing out on the pokies at various venues and clubs – the most notable of all being:
Mulgrave Country Club's 105 machines €” $12.85 million.
Village Green Hotel in Mulgrave’s 79 machines – $11.53 million.
Matthew Flinders Tavern’s 75 machines – $11.47 million.
Vegas at Waverly Gardens’ 105 machines – $11 million.
Monash Council approved a gambling policy opposing the transfer of slot machines to disadvantaged areas and advocacy on tougher gambling regulations.
Mayor Geoff Lake, who is also chairman of the Alliance for Gambling Reform, said the council would do anything to get off the list of biggest losers.
It (losses) disproportionately falls onto a small number of people who are most impacted by that burden especially in lower wealth households,Cr Lake said.It is an unconscionable that the state coffers and the private individuals and big corporations are profiting at the cost of many in out community. We can't put the genie back in the bottle but we can change the way the machines deceive and mislead people, put in spend limits … and have tougher approaches to poker machines.
Cr Lake said more than $2 billion had been lost in Monash €” the highest in the state €” since the introduction of poker machines two decades ago.
The various gambling venues and clubs that indirectly benefit from the tax revenue generated by this obscene pokie spend have also refused to give cash to community groups €” except the Waverley War Widows and Mothers Association – and even then only if they meet in venues home to gaming machines.
The council which led the Enough Pokies campaign in 2014, agreed to sign an open letter in support of gambling reforms at last month's council meeting.*
*Gambling Reforms that are being put back on the table thanks to Nick Xenophon and Andrew Wilkie – Learn more HERE
A Culture of Corruption Within The VCGLR?
A recent application by the Langwarrin Hotel in Beretta for 10 more pokies to be provided on the condition that the Hotel build a state of the art children’s playground on the premises was approved by the VCGLR prompting outrage from anti-gambling and pro-family groups – and rightly bloody so!
A report by Monash University academics Dr Charles Livingstone and Louise Francis released last year found 94% of pokies applications by pubs and clubs were approved by the Victorian Commission for Gambling and Liquor Regulation between July 2007 and June 2014. Dr Charles Livingstone said it seems the chances of obtaining an approval for pokies from the VCGLR are significantly higher than the odds stacked against pokies players.
We knew they approved a high proportion but we didn't realise it was that high, Dr Livingstone told RSLPokies.com
The review of VCGLR decisions, funded by the Municipal Association of Victoria, took about two years to compile and found 132 out of a total of 142 applications researched were approved.